“Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our actions, our actions become our habits, and our habits become our realities”
Love the one you is.
I’m currently reading “You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero. Because, you know, I want to learn how to appreciate my inner badass. Find it. Embrace it.
Chapter 6 is all about loving yourself and taking care of yourself. Because You.Are.Important. I wanted to share what I read because it really resonated with me and I realized how poorly I treat myself. I know there are a lot of us out there that do this, so I wanted to share. Settle in, there is a little reading to do but I think you will benefit from what it has to say, I am going to give you things from my perspective but I’m sure you will see how this can apply to you too.
1. Appreciate how special you are
– there is only one Holley. Just me, no more. Yes I may share a name with many, but there is just one HROG. No one can ever copy me and think about things the way I do because I am an individual. To be fair, that is pretty spectacular. There are millions and millions of people in this world but only one Holley, who comes home to Husband and Friend and who takes care of their family the way that I do.
2. Drown yourself in affirmations
– I should be reminding myself of all these things each day
– I deserve to be happy and to take time to improve myself, loving myself does not make me a bad person.
– I am smart and beautiful.
– I work hard for my family and my contributions matter.
– I am not a bad mom or wife for taking time out of my day for my health.
– I am short and curvy and that is 100% ok.
I’m sure there are more, but these are the ones that jump to my mind when I think of positive affirmations. No nonsense though, these are to retraining my brain to love myself.
3. Do things that you love
– I should be making time for the things I love. I don’t read nearly enough. I don’t exexcise like I should. My inner yogi is lost, but should be found. I dont get to do enough with my family. I need to put myself up front more and that doesn’t make me a bad person, the more I give to myself, the more I can be there for those I love.
4. Find a Replacement
– When I look in the mirror I usually spot all the flaws that fall on my face or my waist. I find an imperfection on my clothes and how they look. Usually it ends in me trying to fix it and giving up. There are rare occasions that I dont, but 98% of the time there is a lot of negativity seeping out of me towards myself. I feel inferior when I walk into a group of successful people. I need to change my words to be positive. Instead of picking out flaws, I should compliment myself on my shiny hair or the way I love how my eyes pop when I do my makeup. I should be loving my curves and appreciating God giving me what so many people pay to have and realize that I am working on improving myself. I need to replace my words with words of encouragement and love. Because I can’t expect others to love me if I can’t love myself.
5. Ditch the self-depreciating humor
– I am the world’s worst for this. I turn my social anxiety into making fun of myself to take the pressure off my fears of embarrassment. Making an excuse for my failures before I even fail. It has distorted how I view myself. I no longer see a strong woman who is a social butterfly and able to make a friend wherever I go, but a wall flower that is afraid of reaching out because of the fear of bothering someone or saying something stupid. I make fun of the stress that can sometimes be so overwhelming by laughing it off when really it hurts on the inside. It has to stop. I have to treat myself like I would treat a friend. And get new jokes, no matter how lame they are.
6. Let the love in
– Don’t rebound a compliment. Take it graciously and say thank you. Don’t point out some reason their compliment is invalid. Accept it and realize that they wouldn’t say it if they didn’t mean it. Realize people don’t see me through the clouded eyes I have for myself.
7. Don’t compare yourself to others
– Oh social media, what a tangled Web you weave. I compare my normal day to day with other people’s highlights all the time. It is apples and oranges. When I am proud I should be proud, not knock myself down a peg because someone else may have done it faster or at a higher level. I do this all the time. I need to accept that I am enough. And that is good enough.
8. Forgive yourself
– I need to let myself make mistakes. I hate mistakes. I hate feeling like I’ve let down my family, friends, colleagues, bosses, you an me them, I have felt like I have majorly let them down. I want to be perfect immediately. I want immediate results and knowledge from myself on anything I tackle. I need to wake up and realize that I am only human and need to grow from thone mistakes and not let them hold me down because of fear.
9. Love yourself
– Its time to learn to love me for me and work to become the me that I deserve.
Does this sound familiar to anyone else? If so I highly recommend this book. I’m six chapters in and I’m already finding room for improvement.
Have a fantastic day you wonderful people.